DEAR MY LOVELY GRANDMA - 1
Hay Grandma, how are you there? Surely you are watching me with full of love. Well ... I can feel it.
Grandma, I miss you so much. You are my place to share things all this time. You have always protected me all this time.
Oh yeah ... you know, I'm already in Bali. A good place for my spiritual journey. And of course, you are happy to see this.
Ah ... I wish you were still here, surely you would come with me to Bali. You will accompany me, cook for me, and advise me. To me, you are my fairy godmother. You always give me advice on how to love properly. And it's still in my head.
You know since your departure 20 years ago, 6 days before my birthday November 19th, for me that day is a very boring birthday. You are no longer beside me. I don't consider birthdays to be important. Until one day ... there was a man who brought me dreams in 2017 (you know who that guy), at that time my birthday was special. But after that, it didn't, because everything was destroyed.
Destroyed? Yes, all those beautiful things were destroyed again. But I'm not sad anymore now. I am sincere because I realized that it was part of my journey. Separation is not an easy thing for me. And when I had my birthday yesterday, it was still normal for me. Maybe I already understand the meaning of a birthday, other than for me to do some introspection that can help make me grow to be better.
Dear Grandma, now I have found what I want and what I need. You must know too. But it seems like your prediction will happen. Shhh, it's only the two of us who know, right. Hahahahah ...
Actually I still need your love .. but the Universe took you first, maybe it was to teach me how to be able to learn to be sincerely, to let go of the person that I love without feeling sad. Well, don't we all have to learn to be sincere? You can never be replaced by anything in my heart. What about our couple? I'm sure that when we succeed in releasing someone that we love but he is not in the same vibrations with us (toxic relationship), then we forgive without hatred, which will make the universe give us a much better replacement.
So, my last journey was the last time for me to let people mistreated me. Because of that, I chose to separate. Even though it hurts, the proof is that I have been here and recovered perfectly. 2017-2018 completely destroyed me about what it means to be with a man who is not in the same vibrations as me. Ah never mind ... it does not need to be discussed further.
I'm writing this only because I really miss you, Grandma. Hopefully, I can feel at home in Ubud. Because here I don't have anyone but my three bosses and Mbak Dayu. Hahaha ... I wish you were here like I said, maybe I'm just like Princess Belle. The difference is Belle is with her father, while I'm with you.
Ok dear Grandma. .. you need to know, that I really love you. For me, you were always in my heart forever. Can you do me a favor? Help me, leak a little of the secrets from the Universe that you know .. Lol I'm just kidding ... What's clear is, please don't go far from my heart. I always need you to help me get through all of this. I only have you and the Universe right now. Nothing else ... most just my best friend Bazz. But he is far away. I don't have anyone else to share my story yet. And you know, almost all my friends always call me to talk. Hahaha ... how about me? I can only confide in you, the Universe and Bazz. The others I can't yet..
Finally, I can only say thank you for all the love that you taught me. I will hold it for the rest of my life. I loved you, I love you, and I always do.
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